I wrote this blog back in 2013, a week after young GLEE star Cory Monteith had died, but I find it so relevant, no matter if you are an actor, a singer, a football player or anything else, that I want to share it here again:
It's been a week after young GLEE star Cory Monteith had died and I have been finding it hard to pass this one on as yet another star that has just been struggling with an addiction. A friend of mine posted a statement the other day that,
"…you just never know what goes on in someone else’s heart, here you have a talent living the dream in every aspect of their life while fighting their own battles and their own demons…"
I keep wondering why this is touching me so much. Why are there so many people out there living the successful life that many dream about and then seem to punish themselves on another level. Or is it punishing? Is it maybe more about ALLOWING themselves to enjoy what they have achieved? I know of so many artists and athletes with an incredible talent that are struggling with the very recognition they long for, because deep down they carry the belief that they don’t deserve to be this happy, don’t deserve to be this successful and are literally waiting to be found out that they are a fraud.
They talk themselves down in the best of cases, or start sabotaging their life in order to make sure that they stay small. I’ve seen this need to dim their light in order to fit in and be loved so often. When they have reached a level where they cannot deny that they are not small, for instance have international fame, the subconscious pressure of disbelief grows so immensely that it brings the belief system back to where it feels safe.
There is the numbing with drugs part or crashing the car part. It might even end up in public fights. I have often seen health deteriorate dramatically under this pressure.
Marianne Williamson said in her book return to Love:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…”
When I have helped clients work through similar struggles, I have found it was always this deepest fear that was at the core of it. Whatever the issue, it always seemed to come down to loving our self a little more everyday, accepting our self completely, struggles and gifts included and then releasing what’s holding us from loving who we truly are:
Magnificent, beautiful and talented.
And you know what? I haven’t met one person yet that didn’t have all those three qualities!
What if you are exactly in the perfect place and are the perfect person for that job?
What if you were not only born to entertain the world, but you were born to enjoy it too? What if there are so many talents lying dormant within you that you just need to allow to come out? What if...?
Please, if you are struggling with these kinds of feelings be reminded you that you are magnificent beyond measure and if you ever find yourself bringing yourself down to fit in or feel loved, let me tell you that the people around you take delight in your talents and I encourage you to take pleasure in their delight and celebrate your gift. For this is what it truly is:
A gift to you and everyone involved.
And on top you will be allowing others to do the same!
I advise you to start by writing a list of all the things you have achieved so far. This simple exercise always seems to shifts the energy immediately, as it leaves people with surprise of how well they are doing already and that they in fact deserve to live that dream.
What a wonderful world this could be, if we all would be living and sharing our talents to the full. Much love, as always Gido